expecting

   

Early in the morning he wakes
me up with the doorbell

My wife has gone to work

so i get up and go to the door

where he is standing holding a package
tapping the toe of one of his boots

on the floorboards

He hands me his clipboard

as he walks past me into my house
and asks me to sign it

The paper is blank

so i ask him where to put my name
and he tells me anywhere

He sits down at the living room table
sets the package on the table

in front of him and fingers

one of the doilies set at his place

He says how something to drink would be nice
so i go into the kitchen and come

back with two mugs of coffee

I set his down on the package

and he quickly picks it back up
inspecting the box for moisture damage
He runs his hand over the spot

where the mug had been

and he looks at me like i'm crazy
he asks what's wrong with me

why am i trying to ruin the package
he brought me

He asks me don't i like it or something
and i tell him i don't know

i wasn't expecting a package
i don't know what it is

so how can i not like it

He sits there for awhile
blowing on his coffee

running his hand over the top
and sides of the box and he says
that some people are happy

to get things like this

He says people send other people things
because they care

He asks me why don't i care
and i tell him i do

but i don't know who sent it
i don't know what it is

and he shakes his head slowly
pushes his mug away on the doily

leans back heavily in his chair and sighs

He says it's not supposed to happen like this
i'm supposed to thank him

tear open the box and exclaim

all sorts of happy things when i see
what is inside

i am not supposed to argue with him
about who sent it or what it is

He looks down at the scuffmarks on his boots
and the floor that is all around them

He puts his weight on his feet

and pushes himself back and out of the chair
His hand moves across the top of the box
once more and drops to his side

as he walks out of my house

He gets into his truck

and drives slowly down the street
his hazard lights still flashing

I watch him from my porch

and when his truck is out of sight

i hear my wife's car coming down the block
bringing her home for lunch

I turn around and walk back into my house
and i see the clipboard sitting on the chair
where i left it with one piece of paper on it
with my name on it

floating in the middle of so much whiteness

My wife walks in and sees the package on the table
She asks what it is and i tell her i don't know

She wants to know who sent it

and when i'm going to open it

and i don't say anything

I don't have an answer for her
and she knows it

She takes the delivery man's mug from the table
and walks into the kitchen with it

saying to me that most people are happy
to get packages.