the only word i need

i look over at you
you driving the last half mile before the exit
where our quarter pounder with cheese exists
the one we both convinced ourselves we deserve
at exactly the same moment
without mentioning it to the other
and i think about you
the word "perfect".

my hand grazes your shoulder
as i walk past you
in saturday morning mid-putter around the house
moving on to fix some small thing
that we have both been noticing needed fixing
and the look i see in your eyes
as you turn your head to look at me
makes me think about you
the word "loving".

i watch you
cutting zucchini and making tiny puff pastries
for all of your fellow students
in your graduate program
the pile of ingredients and dirty dishes
and finished works of art in constant flux
on the kitchen counters
and i think about you
the word "selfless".

you are stretched out on the living room floor
buried in your binders again
absorbing reams of tangled proteins
and inheritance charts and psycho-social ramifications
misspellings in the recipes that make us who we are
and how to explain them to sick and dying people
and which words show the right evidence of your heart
and make the kind of difference you know you can make
and i think about you
the word "brilliant"

you have pulled the sheet
partly off your body in the morning
when i stop by to kiss you
and let you continue sleeping
before i go into work
and the intensely peaceful look on your face
as the fan gently flutters your hair
and the way your breasts look
nestled into your arms
makes me think about you
the word "beautiful".

the shape of the muscles in your legs
and the natural float to your steps
as i struggle behind you to run at your pace
on our "long run" past the tennis courts
the wisdom and the grace of your body
makes me think about you
the word "sexy"

i see you
i see so many of these tiny moments
and i hold onto
so many of these words
i watch you
and i want to make love to you
i want to make babies with you
i want to burrow down
into the depths of your soul
and feel its warm wings wrap around me
and sing me to sleep
i want to hold you while you cry
and stroke the hair back from your face
and kiss you until i find your smile again
i want you to fall asleep
and to wake up every day in my arms

and sometimes i do some of that
and sometimes only some small part of that
and sometimes i pass by onto the next thing
that needs to be done at that moment
without doing any of that
and leave you where you are
doing almost exactly what you were doing
before you noticed i was watching you
but all of those things and so much more
wash over me in that moment
all of those things i want to do
in that moment
i have lived them
and i have known them
and i want to do them again and again
and that makes me think about you
the one word "forever"

and that one word is almost
a perfect way to end this
almost
because i cant help myself
but to reflect it back onto you
and wonder if i could choose a word
one word for you to think
when you looked at me
no matter what i was doing
no matter if i was sleeping or awake
chasing the dog around the kitchen table
teasing you about spilling food on yourself
dancing awkwardly on purpose
trying to make you laugh
and the only word i come up with
is this one word
"worthy".