cuttings

for lilla

the top cut off a pineapple
sitting in on the windowsill
for weeks
and you waiting for it
to take root
not just one time
but over and over again
and each one rotting away
under its stiff green leaves

the golden pathos
stretching its arms around
our apartment in st. paul
so far across the walls
that it had to stay behind
when we left
and when we came back to visit
six months later
you went to get a chair
from our old neighbors apartment
and i didnt go in
but you told me later
how you had seen the pathos
dying in their living room

the succulent i gave you
as an anniversary
that we have left behind in pieces
maybe two years ago by now
and us never knowing
how long it would take to fade
but it grows and sheds its leaves
and starts tiny green buds
where its not supposed to
and still looks ill somehow
and every time i see it
i see the same tired struggle
of growth and decay
i see us turning to each other
looking to see how far the roots
have dug themselves
into the soil behind our eyes.