garden center

i was waiting at the end of an aisle

watching you meandering among the plants 

considering color and composition

touching the leaves and petals

as you moved from flower to flower

i stood there surrounded by lemon coral

shasta daisys, creeping phlox, pink and purple petunias

and our cart was full of black-eyed susans

a small bee landed on the back of my left hand

a tiny compliment to my skin

in the middle of all these blooming flowers

and so much pollen in the air

it looked around at the moles and tiny hairs

inspected a small scab 

from clearing dead branches last weekend

then flew off again

the tiny sensation of its feet on my skin

then lifting away

sent a shimmer up my arm

i looked up and saw you again

an aisle of flowers away from me

and that shimmer ran across my chest

and up the back of my neck

out of everything else 

beautiful and amazing

surrounding us in this world that you landed on me.

strata

you realize

at least

25 times

each day

that i am a fraud

and every time

it comes

as a relief.

primatology

“Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” 

- Elizabeth Stone

Most people use this quote to describe a sense of extreme fragility

the risk of having something so tender and so pure

exposed to the random violences of the world.

But when i watch my daughter ride her tricycle in the kitchen

waving to me with half an oatmeal raisin cookie in her hand

rolling around the room 
trailing crumbs across the floor

her blue sparkly skirt twirling with her legs

i am not afraid for this outside of my body heart

i am simply enthralled by its fearless oddity.

This other heart of mine is inimitable, random, 
amused by the infinity of places to go
and the so manyness of the ways to get there.