for Wendy Lutz
the most common way i've heard
to tell if you are dreaming
is to look for your hands
and when you see them you'll know
you are no longer in this world
and then there’s another way
you can realize the friend
the one having an animated conversation with you
they took their life almost 10 years ago
but there they are
right in front of you
bubbling and effusive
and as you realize what your brain has done
your face stalls out
drops just a little bit on the edges
for one small moment
as what’s happening hits you head on
you stop yourself
and turn your face back on to them
because you don’t want them to ask what’s wrong
because it would just make it awkward
because you just want to stay there with them
having a normal conversation
it’s been so incredibly long
since you had a chance to catch up
and find out how they are doing.
