visiting

when they fell asleep
he couldnt help but hold her
his arm draped over her side
his cock nestling between
the perfect cheeks of her ass
and every morning he had this pain
in the small of his back
from holding her like that
from not sleeping curled as far
into himself as he was used to
but the pain was only there
so he couldnt forget what he had
gotten to hold in for so many hours
the physical pain of her presence
the empty space she left behind

when they went out
he kept a finger in her belt loop
a hand in the valley of her back
an arm around her shoulders
she thinks he is afraid she might float away
like a forgotten balloon
accelerating into the blueness of the sky
but he knows why his hand is there
why his arm is the string
that holds them together so perfectly
he knows if he lets her go
he would be the one to leave the ground
and she might not be able to stop him
she might not notice until it was too late
he would be fifty feet above her
waving to her as if he were on a train
pulling away from her station
he knows the pressure of her skin
pushing back against his hand is all he needs
to stay where he is beside her

unh huh

he still says it
just like he used to
a hiccup of agreement
just like he did
before he got out of her car
and began to run away
drunk and full of his birthday
steak dinner and champagne
and this other guy
whose name she called him
the morning after he got back
from texas in her halfsleep

he still says it
just the way he would
to let her know he was still
listening to her in the dark there
next to her twitching body
wondering if he could touch her
drifting in and out of coffee
sleep mouth whiskey head

he still says it
just the same way she remembers
but he says it from hundreds
of miles away
in a town she doesn't know

they talk about meeting halfway
playing scrabble
and as they hang up their phones
and the lines click dead
at the midpoint between their lives
the last words they said
add up to some final score
that neither of them are keeping