four months and three days

  
today while packing

for our trip to cozumel

i opened the small wooden box

in my closet

that holds my watches

tie bars cufflinks and passport

and sitting on the top tray

coiled up and off to the right side

was mingus' collar

a strip of blue nylon webbing

with a blue anodized bone-shaped name plate

a round silver rabies tag

a purple heart award for bravery when neutered
with most of the purple worn away

and a few short white hairs

stuck into the fabric around the buckle

so little

and so much left behind

on the modern study of galvanism

   

this year my birthday

was stretched out over two weekends

and a week in between

as we do when our plans get grander

than our time or resources

and a single day is no longer enough

and on the last weekend of my birthday

the presents arrived

a glorious stuttering train of surprises

involving much closing of the eyes

so they could furtively pass by

from one room into another

before being officially unveiled

and with the stretching of the event

we ended up teetering on the ledge

of february 13th

and my basking in the me-ness

was pulled by the carriage return of monday

and dropped into the red heartiness

of valentine's day

and in the same way you had considered

hanging onto one of my birthday presents

for this other event

i realized too late

that the words i wrote for you last week

would have fit this day so perfectly

and the drout of the worry

and the worry of the drout begins

and so i turn to the things you gave me

last saturday night

and consider each one as a metaphor

i can use to court the rain

and make that perfect smile of yours

bloom in the mid-february sun

the suitcase seems least possible

with its imagery of leaving you alone

it sitting on a luggage stand by a closet

in a courtyard by marriot

in some small midwestern town

though the way its handle reaches out

to hold my hand

as we wander through the airport

is touching

and the swiss logo with that silver plus sign

floating in the small red square

has some potential

the boldly pink and black Countess Mara tie

the one that could have stretched between events

if i hadn't been there with you

shopping with you to find the perfect one

it could work well for this piece

but as i delve further into its provenance

i find that paisley is sometimes known as

"persian pickles" by american traditionalists

and has many other botanical and dynastic references

and none that tie back as well as i want

into the knots and facets of this day

the peanut butter chip chocolate cookies

you baked for me at your parents' house last night

are a tempting option

representing the fusion of your culinary skills

and your ability to take the tastes i love

and create a recipe

that is at once my favorite cookie in the world

and is similarly working its way into the hearts of anyone else

who has been lucky enough to have one in their mouth

but of course the best option is the single rose

the red rose held in a skeletal hand

the red rose whose stem intertwines 
with the ribs of the skeleton

on the numbered and signed lithograph

FRANKENSTEIN by David Lance Goines

for a January 21, 1984 showing

of the 1931 movie at the Pacific Film Archive

how could you be anything

but that rose to me

the way you nestle into my chest

surrounded by all those bones and pistons

cams crankshafts and hoses

ribbon

   
i tell you one night
that we are rocks in a stream
pushed up against each other
and each and every single one
of these great unfairnesses
that enters and exits our lives
the people dying too soon
being sick too often
being unavailable
being sad 
being broken
these things are random currents and eddies
jostling us around as they pass
moving us upon each other
grinding us together
wearing us down just a little bit more 
but making us fit 
even more perfectly together

and i think i have come up with something
so poetic and profound
this way of framing 
this particular thing
that is so meaningful 
that it gives both of us
some new insight into who we are
and what we mean to each other
and how it all works together

and then 
you

in one moment
you digest what i have said
and you look straight into my eyes
and you do 
what it is 
you have done for me every day
and every moment of my life

you take 
what i think
is a completed thought
and you add yourself into it

and you are there 
standing next to me
looking at the same two rocks 
in that same stream
that i am imagining are us
and you say these words

these words
that are once again
evidence of your superpower
these words that are a shimmering silky ribbon
on the package that was simply an image
and now is a gift 
we are giving to each other

you say
"and the water makes us shiny, too!"