letter 8.26.04

i hope this email finds you in better spirits than the last. lying here on the beach in the cayman islands, while relaxing, is at the same time dreadfully boring without your presence. the small brown women rubbing suntan lotion on my body are pleasant enough, but i have become so hopelessly spoiled by the overwhelming catharsis of your touch, that they may as well be mongrels tearing at my flesh. the drinks, while cool enough, have absolutely no effect on my thirst. i long for just one sweet kiss from your lips to quench my desires, and cannot wait to return home to your arms. i count the days we spend apart, cutting a small notch into the arm of my beach chaise with the corkscrew the waitress left behind, and i have also decorated the slats of the seat with tiny hearts containing our initials. if i remain here much longer, i fear this chaise will be embroidered completely with my thoughts of you, and i will have to pay for it and bring it home to give to you as proof of how completely and desperately i have been missing you.

suffering unbearably,
charles

email 8.10.2004

i awoke from a 3/4's sleep this morning around 4am to realize i had been caressing and attempting to seduce my extra pillow.
it was the moment when i realized it did not have a head that it, in actuality, was NOT you and i was immediately chagrined, and once again amazed at the deep resonance of your presence that remained even in your absence.